How My First Time Traveling Alone Made Me A Hero

My first time traveling alone…

Dream To Destination podcast cover image
🎧 This blog is NOW available as a podcast!

EPISODE #00

Apple || Spotify

Google || Anchor

Dreaming about your first time traveling alone? Thinking about taking your first solo trip?! As we come out of Covid, and you have a combination of wanderlust & no travel buddy, your first time traveling alone may be on your mind!

If so, you’ve come to the right blog! Also, congrats!! I know first-hand what a big, scary, exciting decision a first solo trip can be.

👋 I’m Shelley, and I have been a solo traveler in Mexico since April 2018! This is my story of how I got started & how I went from scared af solo traveler to confidant af solo traveler… and it all starts with Joseph Campbell.

Have you ever heard of Joseph Campbell?

If not, have you ever heard of Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, The Lord of the Rings & Star Wars — no links to those necessary — because, of course you have!

All of these stories follow the concept Campbell called the monomyth, which means “one myth,” and refers to how our collective idea of a hero(ine) follows the same narrative cycle. The TedED video below explains the Hero’s Journey very well.

I’m pretty big into Campbell’s work. Throughout the last few years of my life, I have come to identify how my journey to becoming the confidant solo traveler I am today, was my Hero’s Journey.

You are the hero of your own story. ~Joseph Campbell

The word hero has a lot of weight nowadays, especially with the prevalence of superhero movies. Because of those, you might think a hero needs an actual cape (🤔maybe I do), but Joseph Campbell says we’re all the heroes of our own story — with or without a cape.

Below you’ll find my “About Me” story of how I left everything familiar behind & embarked on my journey from mortal woman to Captain Solo Traveler.

Let’s dive in!
STEP #1: THE ORDINARY WORLD
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

…Just days before I left Florida (unknowingly; for good).

My First Time Traveling Alone

The Ordinary World

I had the American Dream! By that I mean: I had “it all”— full time job, cute little sports car, my own condo by the beach filled with stylish-yet-comfortable furniture & cool vintage decor. Not to rub it in, but I even had health insurance & paid days off.

At age 36, I was done. Yup, I had done “it.” I had nothing left to do, because I collected all of the things & checked all of the boxes. Except, like so many, life didn’t feel complete.

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell

For about 8 years, I was the editor of a travel magazine for Miami’s visitors. I felt great about helping people have a better time on their vacation.

As I get older & wiser, I realize more & more that we have one irreplaceable commodity: Time. I saw my job as a gift I could give to help people maximize their time in Miami.

…Then one day, it was all gone.

The owners decided to shut the company down after 57 years. None of us saw this coming. We arrived to work on Monday, December 17, 2017 — 1 week before Christmas — and had no more work the next day…

All of a sudden, I had to uncheck a few boxes off of my American Dream checklist.

STEP #2: THE CALL TO ADVENTURE
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

En route to Lagunas de Chacahua National Park (Oaxaca, Mexico)

My First Time Traveling Alone

The Call to Adventure

After months of job hunting, & getting not even a call back, I decided South Florida’s lacking job market was part of the problem. I rationalized that if I moved to a city with more job prospects, I’d have another job in no time.

The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a HEARTY YES to your adventure. ~Joseph Campbell

I closed on the sale of my cute little condo on March 1, 2018. The first time I met the buyer, we stood together in the living room & he told me he really loved the way I had decorated the place, and asked if I would sell him Everything. I. Owned!

Honestly, I didn’t know that was a thing. My realtor told me it’s usually not.

However, since everything in my life felt bizarre af at that time — and I seemed to be in whatever comes between a quarter- and mid-life crisis — I said a HEARTY YES to him.

At this point, there wasn’t much left of my fading-very-fast American Dream…

 

This is where I live now, Mérida, Mexico 👇
STEP #3: MEETING THE MENTOR
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

Dream of a Sunday Afternoon in Alameda Park painting by Diego Rivera (Mexico City, Mexico)

My First Time Traveling Alone

Meeting the Mentor

I moved in with a friend, for what I intended to only be 2 months, before relocating to Denver.

Why Denver? Well, I heard Denver had a solid job market — even though I had only been to Denver once, maybe 10 years prior, and I had altitude sickness the whole time — but I figured I could get a job there. (Rational, I know!)

My friend was also between jobs at this time & had some savings, so he suggested we go travel for a few months before I move. Since no warm-blooded South Floridian is dying to move to Denver in the winter, I said another HEARTY YES to his unexpected offer!

….and then shizz got real.

He said he wanted to go to Mexico. Mexico. Scary, dangerous, you’ll-probably-get-killed Mexico.

Cover of Venturing Off The Beaten Path: 10 Hidden Gems of Mexico
DOWNLOAD NOW!
Venturing Off the Beaten Path: 10 Hidden Gems of Mexico Travel

Mexico is huge country, full of off the beaten path places  and so much more than just Cancun, Tulum & Cabo San Lucas! Download this pretty pdf & learn about 10 Mexico hidden gems. Hint: One of them is in the photo on the cover & you need to know about it right now!

DOWNLOAD NOW!
Venturing Off the Beaten Path: 10 Hidden Gems of Mexico Travel
STEP #4: THE REFUSAL OF THE CALL
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

Las Grutas de Tolantongo (Hidalgo, Mexico)

My First Time Traveling Alone

The Refusal of the Call

I remember this conversation so vividly. We were in his kitchen & he said “Let’s go to Mexico.”

“Why,” I replied. 🤷‍♀️…and I meant it. I’d never considered going to Mexico.

After all, the news told me it’s dangerous, and I accepted that as fact. Europe: Safe & beautiful; Mexico: Dangerous & has that yellow tinge to it.

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. ~Joseph Campbell

After some convincing — and because solo travel wasn’t an option for me, which meant compromise was — I compromised on Mexico City. I told him we could start in Mexico City, if he agreed to continue traveling through Central & South America.

Spoiler: I’m writing this 2 years & 3 months after arriving in Mexico… and I’m still in Mexico! This country isn’t anything the mainstream media pedals, and in fact, I have been completely safe here!

💡READ MORE! Mexico Solo Travel: How to be Safe & Crush It

STEP #5: CROSSING THE THRESHOLD
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

Some of the beautiful houses in Roma Norte (Mexico City, Mexico)

My First Time Traveling Alone

Crossing the Threshold

We arrived at about 10am in Mexico City on April 4, 2018. I had officially begun the next phase of my life — except I didn’t know it yet. To be honest, I was too busy feeling terrified.

The Mexico City airport was huge & intimidating. Not speaking Spanish was intimidating. Calling an Uber, which used to not be intimidating, suddenly became intimidating.

I didn’t confess to my friend how I felt, because being intimidated isn’t a “cool person” feeling & I really wanted to be a cool person! So, I hesitantly put one foot in front of the other, called our Uber, & we headed to the Airbnb in Mexico City’s Roma Norte neighborhood — the one from the Roma movie.

If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. ~Joseph Campbell

Seeing Roma Norte, it became overtly apparent this wasn’t the Mexico of mainstream news or Narcos on Netflix. This was the most beautiful neighborhood I had ever seen.

Honestly, it looked like a painting. It looked like Carrie Bradshaw’s Upper East Side neighborhood on Sex & the City, only much more colorful. Roma Norte was a feast for my eyes & a visual revelation.

STEP #6: TESTS, ALLIES, ENEMIES
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

Three Catrinas at Día de los Muertos/Day of the Dead (Oaxaca, Mexico)

My First Time Traveling Alone

Tests, Allies, Enemies

Each day, Mexico City got a little less scary. Or rather, I got more used to re-forming my ideas about this country. Mexico was the same — it’s just not what the media says it is.

Then I saw the jacaranda trees.

On my first cross-neighborhood walk, I ventured from Roma Norte into Condesa — literally the next neighborhood over, but quite the journey for still semi-scared me — and I saw these trees.

Jacarandas are big trees with bright purple flowers that only bloom for about 1 month per year in the springtime. I found a large concentration of them around Parque Mexico (Mexico Park).

Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. ~Joseph Campbell 

Thinking back, I still don’t know why the trees made me feel at ease. However, they looked so beautiful against the blue sky, and I surrendered. I had fallen in love with Mexico City 🥰

The first time I took a photo outside was of these trees. Uncool Confession: I felt too scared to photograph anything outdoors for nearly a week. The mainstream U.S. media had convinced me I’d get mugged in Mexico. (Spoiler: I didn’t.)

After a week, I started going out by myself. I’d speak my very basic Spanish, but more importantly, I gained the confidence to know that even if I don’t speak great Spanish, I’d figure it out.

It feels strange to say it’s possible to “figure out” a language you don’t speak — but when you start believing in yourself, everything becomes possible!

🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟

If you have no other takeaway from my story, know this: Solo travel is the quickest form of therapy!
STEP #7: APPROACH TO THE INMOST CAVE
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

Cenote Suytun (Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico)

My First Time Traveling Alone

Approach to the Inmost Cave

My (platonic, in case you were wondering) travel buddy & I spent 2 months in Mexico City, then another 2 months in Playa del Carmen & Tulum; and then the moment came…

He said: “I took a job. I’m going back to Miami… and leaving in 3 days.”

Me, thinking to myself: What. The. Fu+k 😳🤬

Here was what I knew: 1) I was staying in Mexico, even if that meant on my own, and 2) I was about to be in Mexico on my own.

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls. ~Joseph Campbell

Solo travel as a woman always seemed elusive. It seemed like something reserved for “cooler” women, stronger women, who were more extroverted, more courageous, more whatever than me.

My breakthrough came via this revelation: Solo travel is for those who travel solo.

Cool people do it, so do uncool ones (I’ve met many of them!); strong & weak people do it; it’s for extroverts & introverts alike; people with & without fear travel alone…

The only difference between those who do travel solo & those who don’t is this: One person does & the other one doesn’t.

Every other “reason” was something I made up to hold myself back from solo travel, because in all honesty, I simply felt too scared.

STEP #8: THE ORDEAL
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

Climbing Ixmoja pyramid at the Coba archeological site (Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico)

My First Time Traveling Alone

The Ordeal

My travel buddy officially left on July 25, 2018. Let me tell you this: Knowing it’s coming doesn’t make that moment any easier.

Something that’s always true, even if we only rarely acknowledge it, is that we always have choice over our thoughts & reactions. We seldom have a choice over our circumstances, but we always have the power of our reactions to them.

I felt terrified in feeling, but was determined to be courageous in thought. By this point, I had been traveling for 4 months, but my journey was about to begin — and I was determined to feel excited. Damn it.

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature. ~Joseph Campbell

Cover of Afraid to Travel Alone?
DOWNLOAD NOW!
Afraid to Travel Alone? Breakthrough with These 6 Powerful Tops

Travel can be overwhelming! Solo travel can sometimes be even more so — especially if you've never done it. If you're planning or about to take your first solo trip, your emotions are likely in full on panic mode! After 2+ years of solo travel, I have these 6 proven tips & trips you're going to use & love.

DOWNLOAD NOW!
Afraid to Travel Alone? Breakthrough with These 6 Powerful Tops

STEP #9: THE REWARD
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

High atop the Tepozteco Aztec pyramid (Tepoztlán, Mexico)

My First Time Traveling Alone

The Reward

Following “The Ordeal” of becoming a solo traveler, the craziest thing happened!

After I allowed myself to feel all the feelings of that transition: fear, uncertainty, anxiety, I started to have the time of my life. I was alive in ways I hadn’t ever been. Seriously: ever.

💡READ MORE! Afraid to Travel Alone: These 5 Tips Will Help

I was 37 by then, and according to conventional “wisdom,” I should have felt that alive by now; but I hadn’t.

Now, I’d had moments of transcending my fears, like going skydiving for my 31st birthday & stuff like that. However, I never felt the sustained feeling of really feeling alive for months at a time — until now.

What exactly was my Reward?

If “The Ordeal” meant learning to trust my intuition enough to know I’m capable of making every decision for myself… “The Reward” was knowing I am!

I love my now ex-travel buddy, and we’re still friends to this day, but I’m a solo travel convert!

With a travel buddy, it was often difficult to agree on an Airbnb. It was difficult to agree on a daily agenda… and there are countless memes on the agony of the “Where do you want to eat dinner tonight?” conundrum!

All that stuff was at my whim now. If I felt moody & changed my mind 46 times about where I wanted to eat dinner — NBD!

I had days when I met & chatted with people at my favorite cafe, and others when I happily just read and didn’t talk to anyone. Some days I made a plan, and completely changed it 3 minutes in, and some days I had no plan at all. 

This journey officially became The Shelley Show!
STEP #10: THE ROAD BACK
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

First time driving a scooter (Cozumel, Mexico)

My First Time Traveling Alone

The Road Back

I’m not sure, scientifically, where eating out alone falls on the Top Phobias list… but I get asked a lot “What’s it like to eat alone?” Short answer: It’s great & it’s super relaxing & I love it.

🌮 I even wrote a blog about it! Eating Alone While Traveling: How to Overcome Your Fear

While dining solo, sometimes I’d read, or people-watch, edit photos to post on Instagram, or call someone, sometimes I’d chat with my restaurant neighbor — and sometimes I’d even order 2 desserts because there wasn’t anyone around to judge me!

Simply put: I did whatever the eff I wanted to do. It’s actually super empowering & pretty great to go dine solo. I do all the time now!

In fact, I get a little sad when women tell me they’re too scared to eat out alone! I get even more sad when I hear about being afraid to travel solo…

I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive. ~Joseph Campbell

Solo travel is the single most empowering thing I’ve ever done. It led me to the confidence I always had within me, that needed a way to show itself so I’d trust it was actually there.

Solo travel gave me to the freedom I should have felt after achieving the American Dream.

I’ve been living out of a medium-sized suitcase for 2+ years… & I’m happier now than ever! Experiences hold more value for me than things these days.

When we stop believing what we’re told to be, to think, to fear… we free up the space we need to be, think & not fear whatever we want.

 

STEP #11: RESURRECTION
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

Lagunas de Chacahua National Park (Oaxaca, Mexico)

My First Time Traveling Alone

Resurrection

I often say travel is the cheapest form of therapy, whether solo or not. Seeing other cultures, customs, people & ways of life reminds us our way isn’t the only way, or even the “right” way.

If travel is the cheapest form of therapy, solo travel is the quickest form of therapy.

When I became a solo traveler it felt like I now held the whole Universe of infinite possibilities in my hands. It felt like I could mold myself into the person I was always meant to be.

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. ~Joseph Campbell

As a solo traveler, I started listening to my intuition in ways I never had.

In everyday life, we often bounce our ideas & thoughts off of others to solicit feedback & see if what we’re thinking is cool or cray cray. When you’re a solo traveler, that other person to bounce ideas off, is YOU.

Though that might sound scary at first, it is also the single most empowering thing you’ll ever do!

Without the constraints of societal norms, we’d listen to our intuition & let our inner voice guide us all the time. Since we often have to quiet that voice to socially fit in, we’re less accustomed to trusting our intuition.

Beyond that, I used to be a total planner. Although I no longer identify that way, I do believe planning has its value.

I will say though, that I think the ultimate goal of every planner & over-planner is actually to be able to go with the flow! If you ever want to transcend your anxious, over-planning ways, I can’t recommend solo travel enough.

STEP #12: RETURN WITH THE ELIXIR
First Time Traveling Alone | Palm trees at the beach in Cancun Mexico

Feelin’ myself at Chapultepec Park (Mexico City, Mexico)

My First Time Traveling Alone

Return with the Elixir

These past 2+ years of solo travel have been the greatest gift I could have given myself. I am one tough MF’er these days.

Through solo travel, I now truly Know (capital K in Know, as in Know in my bones with absolute certainty) there is nothing I can’t handle.

I have tools in my mental toolbox I never knew existed. Though I never pictured any of this for myself, now I can’t picture myself any other way.

A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself. ~Joseph Campbell

After traveling to half of the states in Mexico, I know the country quite well.

In fact, I live in Mexico full time now! I speak the language & I travel to the non-touristy parts of this country. Speaking of the non-touristy parts, I’ve been to places you want to go to… that you don’t even know exist.

Beyond that, I also know travel buddies are sometimes hard to come by & now you’re curious about all of said off-the-beaten-path places!

✈️🌎 CURIOUS ABOUT THESE MEXICO DESTINATIONS? Download my free guide now… Venturing Off the Beaten Path: 10 Hidden Gems of Mexico

Cover of Venturing Off The Beaten Path: 10 Hidden Gems of Mexico
What is the Elixir?

For me, Returning With the Elixir, this final stage of the Hero’s Journey, means taking what I have learned & experienced to those who need to hear it.

That means both Solo travel & Mexico travel. It means I hope you’ll let me be your virtual travel buddy.

I would love nothing more, at this state of my journey, than to be your solo travel mindset guide & your Mexico guide!

My goal in starting this blog & podcast, is to go in depth with you about the limiting beliefs you need to get rid of to turn your dream into your destination & take that solo trip!

I will also help you pick the perfect place in Mexico for you to visit. If you think about it, this really is the easiest country for a first time international solo travel destination: 1) It is one of the closest countries to you in the U.S., 2) The exchange rate is completely in your favor, 3) You don’t need a visa… and many more reasons.

Considering Solo travel & Mexico travel?!

Let’s chat in the comments! Ask me anything that wasn’t covered in the blog so I can help you turn your dream into your destination!

Enjoy these related blogs

Hridaya Yoga Mexico: Everything You Need to Know for Your Retreat
Hridaya Yoga Mexico: Everything You Need to Know for Your Retreat

Considering a Hridaya Yoga Mexico silent meditation retreat? 🎧 This blog is NOW available as a podcast! EPISODE #05 Apple || Spotify Google || Anchor   Considering a silent meditation retreat at Hridaya Yoga Mexico?Do you think you could stay silent for 10...

How to Get Awesome Solo Travel Photos + 5 Free Presets
How to Get Awesome Solo Travel Photos + 5 Free Presets

Curious about Mexico Solo Travel safety? 🎧 This blog is NOW available as a podcast! EPISODE #03 Apple || Spotify Google || Anchor   Ready to Get Awesome Solo Travel Photos?!Do you want to learn how to get beautiful solo travel photos, and take your travel...

Journey Through Photos

I love me some Instagram! Follow along on my photo journey chronicling the last 2 years spent traveling throughout beautiful, colorful Mexico.

Considering Solo travel & Mexico travel?!

Let’s chat in the comments! Ask me anything that wasn’t covered in the blog so I can help you turn your dream into your destination!

¡Hola Chicas!

👋I’m Shelley, a former Miami travel magazine editor, who ditched the office for the world! I have been a solo female traveler in Mexico for over 2 years, and now I want to pass my experience + expertise on to you!

READ MORE ABOUT ME…

Dream To Destination podcast cover image

A Solo travel meets Mexico travel podcast! If you’re ready to turn your Dream of Solo travel & Mexico travel into your Destination, this podcast was made for you.

Click to Listen Now 🎧
APPLE • SPOTIFY
GOOGLE • MORE!

Affiliates

This page may contain affiliate links. Please know I wouldn’t recommend anything I haven’t used & loved, or thoroughly researched. Affiliate links cost nothing to use & help keep my content free! It’s a win-win 👯‍♀️

READ MORE ABOUT THIS…

New Blogs header graphic

I blog about all things Solo travel + Mexico travel. Check out my newest blogs below, or read by category.
SOLO TRAVEL
MEXICO TRVEL

I’d L❤️VE to hear your thoughts…

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Let's make this inbox official

Expect some ✨surprise freebies ✨ ... but also expect travel tips + tricks, mindset hacks to overcome fears + Mexico's best travel destinations, all delivered right to your inbox!